Надра Гловер Тавваб - Особисті кордони. Керівництво зі спокійного життя без травм і комплексів, Надра Гловер Тавваб

Я вдячна за підтримку моєму психотерапевту, який заохочував мене до написання книги та відзначав мої успіхи у підтримці особистих кордонів.

Дякую мамі й тату за те, що привели мене в цей світ.

А ще я НАДЗВИЧАЙНО ВДЯЧНА кожному, хто прочитав цю книгу. Ви хоробрі — і маєте особисті кордони!

Allan, Patrick. “How to Deal with Chronic Complainers.” Lifehacker, October 8, 2019. https://lifehacker.com/how-to-deal-with-chronic-complainers-1668185689.

Beck, Julie. “How Friendships Change in Adulthood.” The Atlantic, October 22, 2015. https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/how-friendships-change-over-time-in-adulthood/411466/.

Bourne, Edward. Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, 4th ed. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2006.

Charles Schwab. Modern Wealth Survey. May 2019. https://content.schwab.com/web/retail/public/about-schwab/Charles-Schwab-2019-Modern-Wealth-Survey-findings-0519-9JBP.pdf.

Clear, James. Atomic Habits. New York: Avery Publications, 2018.

Coleman, Jackie, and John Coleman. “The Upside of Downtime.” Harvard Business Review, December 6, 2012. https://hbr.org/2012/12/the-upside-of-downtime.

Derald Wing Sue, “Microaggressions: More Than Just Race,” Psychology Today, November 17, 2010. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/microaggressions-in-everyday-life/201011/microaggressions-more-just-race.

Emery, Lea Rose. “The First Year of Marriage Is Tough, No Matter How YouSpin It.” Brides, November 2019. https://www.brides.com/story/the-first-year-of-marriage-is-tough.

Eyal, Nir. Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. Dallas: Ben Bella Books, 2019.

Higgs, Michaela. “Go Ahead and Complain. It Might Be Good for You.” New York Times, January 9, 2020. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/06/smarter-living/how-to-complain-.html.

Horsman Jenny. But I’m Not a Therapist: Furthering Discussion About Literacy Work with Survivors of Trauma. Toronto: Canadian Congress for Learning Opportunities for Women, 1997. https://eric.ed.gov/?id=ED461078.

June, Sophia. “Instagram Therapists Are the New Instagram Poets.” New York Times, June 19, 2019. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/26/style/instagram-therapists.html.

Kantor, Jodi, and Megan Twohey. “Harvey Weinstein Paid Off Sexual Harassment Accusers for Decades.” New York Times, October 5, 2017. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/05/us/harvey-weinstein-harassment-allegations.html.

Katherine, Anne. Where You End and I Begin — How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 1994.

Mechling, L. “How to End a Friendship.” New York Times, June 14, 2019. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/14/opinion/sunday/how-to-end-a-friendship.html.

Milchan, A., S. Reuther, J. F. Lawton, G. Marshall, R. Gere, J. Roberts, R. Bellamy et al. Pretty Woman. Buena Vista Pictures, 1990.

Morrish, E. “Re†ections on the Women, Violence, and Adult Education Project.” Focus on Basics 5, issue C, February 2002. http://www.gse.harvard.edu/~ncsall/fob/2002/morrish.html.

Rosenwasser, Penny. “Tool for Transformation: Cooperative Inquiry as a Process for Healing from Internalized Oppression.” Adult Education Research Conference, pp. 392—396. Vancouver: University of British Columbia, 2000. http://www.edst.educ.ubc.ca/aerc/2000/rosenwasserp1-web.htm.

Tawwab, Nedra. “The Question I’m Asked Most as a Therapist — and My Answer.” Shine, November 2019. https://advice.shinetext.com/articles/the-question-im-asked-most-as-a-therapist-and-my-answer/.

“Trauma Affects Trust in the World as a Beneficial Place, the Meaningfulness of Life, and Self-Worth.” Horsman 1997; Morrish 2002; Rosenwasser 2000.

Tsukayama, H. “Teens Spend Nearly Nine Hours Every Day Consuming Media.” Washington Post, November 5, 2015. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2015/11/03/teens-spend-nearly-nine-hours-every-day-consuming-media/.

Vanzant, Iyanla. The Value in the Valley: A Black Woman’s Guide Through Life’s Dilemmas. New York: Fireside, 1995.

Webb, Jonice. Running on Empty. New York: Morgan James, 2012.

Williams, A. “Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30?” New York Times, July 13, 2012. https://wwwn.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html.

Розділ 2. Ціна відсутності здорових кордонів

За даними однієї статті у «Гарвард Газетт»: A. Powell, “Study: Doctor Burnout Costs Health Care System $4.6 Billion a Year,” Gazette, July 19, 2019, https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2019/07/doctor-burnout-costs-health-care-system-4-6-billion-a-year-harvard-study-says/.

Як пишуть Емілі та Амелія Наґоскі: Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle (New York: Ballantine Books, 2019).

За даними Американської асоціації у боротьбі з тривожністю та депресією: Anxiety and Depression Association of America, “Facts and Statistics,” https://adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics.

Вправа під назвою «Що вже заплановано?»: вправу розроблено Монікою Марі Джонс та модифіковано ­Недрою Тавваб.

Розділ 3. Чому у нас не сформовані здорові особисті кордони?

У 2018 році мережа книжкових магазинів «Barnes & Noble» продала більше примірників книг про піклування про себе, ніж про дієти та спортивні вправи: M. Schaub, “Mental Health Books Outsell Diet and Exercise Books at Barnes & Noble,” Los Angeles Times, January 11, 2019, https://www.latimes.com/books/la-et-jc-mental-heath-book-sales-20190111-story.html.

Розділ 7. Розмиті кордони: унаочнюйте

Як каже Кейт Маккомбз, авторка блогу про секс-освіту та психологію стосунків: Kate McCombs, “My Favorite Question Anyone Asks Me When I’m Having a Rough Day,” пост у блозі, 3 грудня, 2014, http://www.katemccombs.com/favoritequestion/.